Steve Jobs as my Bodyguard

Hi, Satyr, YOU ARE SO LAME!

I don’t know where to start, but you know, I’d always wanted a personal alarm.  Especially during my younger age, when men on streets will check you out without respect, or even whistle and give some stupid comments.  Hard staring won’t help, neither does cursing.  They just enjoy getting you angry.  These harassments that you won’t put on court will need you to help yourself.

I’ve considered sprays, loud alarms, or learn some martial arts.  My favorite anti-rape device is the kind used by McClane’s wife in Die Hard 2 – electricity flowing between two metal points and you can shock a man at his neck that he will ugly fall on the ground in complete satisfying coma in a sec.

No, I don’t know if those are legal.  And I also know that those sprays and devices you intend to protect yourself can be taken by other party to hurt you, too.  I don’t want to initiate any fighting neither, as in both cases, men have more strength, and it will only cause myself disadvantages.  I can only conclude that, the best way is to avoid them in every possible way.

Or, go out with boyfriend.  You know, some kinds of boyfriend, the way they look will get other men intimated and think “who dares to look at this guy’s gf will die in a tragic way.”  My husband is a gentleman, he won’t help, but laugh at me while I become impatient on the street!

But as iPhone is invented.  I’m glad.

This device, iPhone I mean, which allows you to take clear photo and instantly upload it to Facebook / social websites / emails, HELPS A LOT!  By taking out your iPhone and hold it up-straight facing the satyr, he will immediately turn his face away to avoid the camera.  It works EVERY SINGLE TIME!  Because he knows he’s guilty, he will not want the whole world to know that he is a satyr!  His eyes will be off from you (and the iPhone/camera), because he won’t want to be photographed and have evidence!

Then, you (or I) can have a undisturbed time taking photos of those pathetic men, smiling and enjoying uploading the pics to Facebook showing friends, writing bitchy captions about them which they definitely deserve.

Sorry this guy at the bus stop pissed the wrong woman, and all he can do is to let his fat ass face the world and pretend calling someone with his un-smart-phone.  BTW, his call never get through as he hold his phone but never talk or press any button during that 5 mins.  He did’t dare to look at me for a nano-second though we were on the same bus later on.  His face like having a total break down is so entertaining to me.

Hi Steve, thanks so much!  I love you.

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